Dukes of Hazzard

I enjoyed seeing the Dukes of Hazzard movie. Part of that was the movie itself -- hey, look, that car sure jumped far that time! -- and part of it was the crowd. I may live in a Blue State, and in fact I may live in the Bluest part of that state (Seattle), but that does not mean that when I go to my local theater, the people seeing Dukes of Hazzard are going to be genteel capuccino-sipping sophisticates.

Take, for example, the gentleman in the row behind us. He laughed a lot. And not a "Ha ha" either -- more like a "Whoo hoo hoo!" followed by a delighted stomp on the floor. I would not swear that he did not slap his thigh a time or two. And I think I may have heard a "Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk" in there. What I'm saying is that there were more Cletuses in there than just the deputy played by Jack Polick.

The movie itself? I kind of enjoyed it. No, strike that -- I did enjoy it. I would normally add "Don't judge me!" here, but you're just going to do it anyway. The important thing is to understand what sort of movie you're going to. One couple coming out of the theater was mostly composed of Pontificating Guy expostulating to his girlfriend (I assume she was his girlfriend, because I can't imagine why else someone would be hanging out with him) that it was ridiculoud that Hollywood makes movies like that and then complains that ticket sales are down. Hey, pal, the movie's called "The Dukes of Hazzard", not "The Lords of Flatbush". It's not like you thought you were going to see a tense psychological drama here.

In fact, what I really liked about the movie was that it was done 95% straight-faced. It wasn't like Starsky and Hutch where they were making fun of the source material, or even The Brady Bunch Movie, which was very funny, but also very far from "sincere". This was a film made by people who really liked the idea of explosive arrows, car chases, cars flying through the air, and people yelling "Yee-haw" who really meant it. And there's a certain naive sincerity there that, yes, I liked. There aren't any shocking twists at the end (Boss Hogg is Daisy's father -- and he's also dead!) or, really, anything at all that you don't expect.

Well, that's not quite true. There are a few lines that caused a lot of confused looks in the audience. Like Bo's reference to Keyser Soze. Or the scenes where Bo is talking about having sex with the General Lee. But those things are pretty much in context in the movie; it's not like aliens show up or anything.

Now, most movie critics, they'll tell you it's a terrible movie. Which, yeah, is basically true. Except that as a movie with no pretensions, all it wants to do is entertain you for a short period of time. And it did, at least for me. In Roger Ebert's review, he comes off as a bit of a jerk, if you ask me. Consider this:

Judging by her recent conversation on TV with Dean Richards, Simpson is so remarkably uninformed that she should sue the public schools of Abilene, Texas, or maybe they should sue her. On the day he won his seventh Tour de France, not many people could say, as she did, that they had no idea who Lance Armstrong was.

and this:

Simpson plays Daisy Duke, whose short shorts became so famous on TV that they were known as "Daisy Dukes." She models them to a certain effect in a few brief scenes, but is missing from most of the movie. Maybe she isn't even smart enough to wear shorts.

Look, I'm not saying Jessica Simpson is smart. I am, however, saying that calling an actor stupid is not entirely relevant to their performance. In fact, as Daisy Duke, Jessica has what looks for all the world like a knowing smile. I'm sure it's just a coincidence of facial musculature, like when dogs look like they're thinking, but the character isn't all that dumb at all. Also, her teeth are frighteningly white. They gleam. It's unnatural.

There were bloopers over the end credits, because any car movie that features Burt Reynolds is required to feature end credits bloopers. But so much of the movie is cars flying through the air that a lot of the blooper time was given over to showing what really happens when the cars hit the road after flying through the air for forty feet. It turns out that they explode. Hooray!