February 23, 2005

They Will Rock Me, Apparently

So I'm in Barnes & Noble, and I wander into the cd section, and I'm browsing through the soundtrack/musical section, and I see...

"We Will Rock You by Queen and Ben Elton: The Music from the Rock Theatrical, LIVE at the Dominion London"

Yes! The album for We Will Rock You, the ill-conceived Queen musical!

Now, obviously I stand with all right-thinking people in worrying that this will almost certainly be a horrible travesty. Frankly, I think the *best* cast scenario is something like "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" where it's mostly terrible but you maybe get the equivalent of the Aerosmith and Earth Wind and Fire covers. If I can look at it as "Queen covers", maybe it'll be interesting.

The back of the cd summarizes the so-called plot:

"Star-Date: The Future. Real music is banned.
Computer generated Cyber Idols have infested the charts.
It is the age of Ga Ga.
This is the story of the Bohemian Rebellion of 2302.
The year of the Rhapsody!
The year that the ancient promise
WE WILL ROCK YOU
was fulfilled."

Oh god. It's worse than I imagined. In the liner notes, I learn that there are characters called "Galileo", "Scaramouche", and "Killer Queen", which is an entertainingly shameless way to justify songs. It reminds me a lot of the Sgt. Pepper movie having characters named "Strawberry Fields" and "Mean Mr. Mustard".

The song list is largely what you'd expect. It's practically the same songs as "Classic Queen", actually. I'm surprised to see three songs from "A Kind of Magic" (the title song, One Vision, and Who Wants to Live Forever), since they're not just Queen songs being crudely shoehorned into a musical, they're actually songs from movie soundtracks. "Flash" is in there too, but mostly as background music for some dialogue. It's weird.

All right, so far it's about as bad as I expected. But on listening to the songs, it's much, much worse. They've monkeyed with the lyrics!

Not all the lyrics. Mostly it's just crude changes to make it seem futuristic, like "In conversation, she e-mails like a baroness". But Radio Ga-Ga has been nearly entirely rewritten. Now it involves "Radio ga-ga, video goo-goo, internet ka-ka", and also cyberspace ga-ga on the second time through.

There are also some dialogue snippets before the songs, but not nearly enough to make sense of the thing. I have a feeling that the entire plot is an elaborate attempt to match the lyrics of "Bohemian Rhapsody", which seems like a project that's doomed to failure.

It's . . . not good.

Oh, no, no, no. What a horrible, horrible musical. I was unfortunate enough to see the premiere, which was hideous. You won't be able to tell from the soundtrack, but at the end of the play, Brian May's guitar BURSTS out of the wall at Wembeley to save all music ever. It is the saddest thing I have ever seen.

Oh, and "Galileo" and "Scaramouche" are looking for the "Bohemians", who in turn are seeking the "Rhapsody" and "Bohemian Rhapsody" ISN'T IN THE MUSICAL! IT'S THE ENCORE!

God, even thinking about this gets me all upset. Stupid Queen and stupid Ben Elton.

Posted by: Alice at February 24, 2005 02:32 AM

i go to brian may's site regularly, and the people who generally write to him say that they absolutely LOVED the musical. i dont know whether to believe it or not because i got hold of the script and it sounded SOOOO CHEESY!!! il have to see it for myself to be sure though...

Posted by: moira at April 8, 2005 01:27 PM

Ever hear the expression, Don't knock it 'till ya try it. I mean, Its best seen front row, center, but some people don't have that option. I'm pretty sure it's good anywhere in the theater. To those whom have seen it and dislike, kudos to you have your own opinion. To those who have not...lets just say...put a sock in it, I care more for your review if you actually witnessed the play...*cough* 'nough said...

~LuFfS

Coo Coo Cachoo

Posted by: Kyra at April 24, 2005 11:34 PM

I dunno - haven't seen it yet, but I think if you were ever a fan of the band at any time (that's the band, not just two or three of their songs when they were on the radio), it looks like this show's kind of fun. The plot is definitely a little out of left field, but that pretty much describes Queen. Messing with the lyrics doesn't bother or surprise me too much considering it's for the story, but I listened to some of the tracks on Amazon, and I'm completely bewildered by the decision to change the lyrics to Radio Ga Ga, and yet apparently leave the lyrics to Headlong entirely intact. Headlong is a cool song musically, but the lyrics have got to be the most bizarrely terrible lyrics in the history of rock and roll. They sound like they asked some intern to come up with them on the spur of the moment, and he did so by playing around with one of those word refrigerator magnet sets for five minutes.

"Used to be a man with a stick in his hand,
oop diddy diddy, oop diddy doo
Used to be a woman with a hot dog stand,
oop diddy diddy, oop diddy doo
Now you got soup in the laundry bag,
now you got string you're gonna lose your egg.
You're getting in a fight that ain't so groovy
when you're screaming in the night
Get me out of this cheap B-movie!"

If they actually found some way to get the plot to logically fit those lyrics unaltered, my hats are definitely off to the producers.

Posted by: tooner440 at May 27, 2005 07:45 AM



	« TARCon 6 \| Main \| More Recent Reading » February 23, 2005 They Will Rock Me, Apparently So I'm in Barnes & Noble, and I wander into the cd section, and I'm browsing through the soundtrack/musical section, and I see... "We Will Rock You by Queen and Ben Elton: The Music from the Rock Theatrical, LIVE at the Dominion London" Yes! The album for We Will Rock You, the ill-conceived Queen musical! Now, obviously I stand with all right-thinking people in worrying that this will almost certainly be a horrible travesty. Frankly, I think the best cast scenario is something like "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" where it's mostly terrible but you maybe get the equivalent of the Aerosmith and Earth Wind and Fire covers. If I can look at it as "Queen covers", maybe it'll be interesting. The back of the cd summarizes the so-called plot: "Star-Date: The Future. Real music is banned. Computer generated Cyber Idols have infested the charts. It is the age of Ga Ga. This is the story of the Bohemian Rebellion of 2302. The year of the Rhapsody! The year that the ancient promise WE WILL ROCK YOU was fulfilled." Oh god. It's worse than I imagined. In the liner notes, I learn that there are characters called "Galileo", "Scaramouche", and "Killer Queen", which is an entertainingly shameless way to justify songs. It reminds me a lot of the Sgt. Pepper movie having characters named "Strawberry Fields" and "Mean Mr. Mustard". The song list is largely what you'd expect. It's practically the same songs as "Classic Queen", actually. I'm surprised to see three songs from "A Kind of Magic" (the title song, One Vision, and Who Wants to Live Forever), since they're not just Queen songs being crudely shoehorned into a musical, they're actually songs from movie soundtracks. "Flash" is in there too, but mostly as background music for some dialogue. It's weird. All right, so far it's about as bad as I expected. But on listening to the songs, it's much, much worse. They've monkeyed with the lyrics! Not all the lyrics. Mostly it's just crude changes to make it seem futuristic, like "In conversation, she e-mails like a baroness". But Radio Ga-Ga has been nearly entirely rewritten. Now it involves "Radio ga-ga, video goo-goo, internet ka-ka", and also cyberspace ga-ga on the second time through. There are also some dialogue snippets before the songs, but not nearly enough to make sense of the thing. I have a feeling that the entire plot is an elaborate attempt to match the lyrics of "Bohemian Rhapsody", which seems like a project that's doomed to failure. It's . . . not good.
	« TARCon 6 \| Main \| More Recent Reading »
	Comments It's coming to Toronto soon. I'm scared. Posted by: Rachel at February 23, 2005 08:35 PM Oh, no, no, no. What a horrible, horrible musical. I was unfortunate enough to see the premiere, which was hideous. You won't be able to tell from the soundtrack, but at the end of the play, Brian May's guitar BURSTS out of the wall at Wembeley to save all music ever. It is the saddest thing I have ever seen. Oh, and "Galileo" and "Scaramouche" are looking for the "Bohemians", who in turn are seeking the "Rhapsody" and "Bohemian Rhapsody" ISN'T IN THE MUSICAL! IT'S THE ENCORE! God, even thinking about this gets me all upset. Stupid Queen and stupid Ben Elton. Posted by: Alice at February 24, 2005 02:32 AM Aieeeee. It's the phoney futuristic lyrics that are giving me the heebs. The thing with Brian May's guitar was probably his own idea. Bleh! Posted by: Sarcasma at February 24, 2005 04:16 AM It's horrible. It is pointless. It is a musical. Posted by: Exalted Savior at February 25, 2005 09:10 PM i go to brian may's site regularly, and the people who generally write to him say that they absolutely LOVED the musical. i dont know whether to believe it or not because i got hold of the script and it sounded SOOOO CHEESY!!! il have to see it for myself to be sure though... Posted by: moira at April 8, 2005 01:27 PM It was fabulous...can't imagine seeing it any other way if you're either a theatre fan or a Queen fan. The criticisms are mind-boggling Posted by: Toby at April 9, 2005 09:43 AM I couldn't agree more Toby.... You ppl are all nuts! BEST PLAY EVER Posted by: Jen at April 21, 2005 02:17 PM Ever hear the expression, Don't knock it 'till ya try it. I mean, Its best seen front row, center, but some people don't have that option. I'm pretty sure it's good anywhere in the theater. To those whom have seen it and dislike, kudos to you have your own opinion. To those who have not...lets just say...put a sock in it, I care more for your review if you actually witnessed the play...cough 'nough said... ~LuFfS Coo Coo Cachoo Posted by: Kyra at April 24, 2005 11:34 PM I dunno - haven't seen it yet, but I think if you were ever a fan of the band at any time (that's the band, not just two or three of their songs when they were on the radio), it looks like this show's kind of fun. The plot is definitely a little out of left field, but that pretty much describes Queen. Messing with the lyrics doesn't bother or surprise me too much considering it's for the story, but I listened to some of the tracks on Amazon, and I'm completely bewildered by the decision to change the lyrics to Radio Ga Ga, and yet apparently leave the lyrics to Headlong entirely intact. Headlong is a cool song musically, but the lyrics have got to be the most bizarrely terrible lyrics in the history of rock and roll. They sound like they asked some intern to come up with them on the spur of the moment, and he did so by playing around with one of those word refrigerator magnet sets for five minutes. "Used to be a man with a stick in his hand, oop diddy diddy, oop diddy doo Used to be a woman with a hot dog stand, oop diddy diddy, oop diddy doo Now you got soup in the laundry bag, now you got string you're gonna lose your egg. You're getting in a fight that ain't so groovy when you're screaming in the night Get me out of this cheap B-movie!" If they actually found some way to get the plot to logically fit those lyrics unaltered, my hats are definitely off to the producers. Posted by: tooner440 at May 27, 2005 07:45 AM Syndicate this site (XML)

They Will Rock Me, Apparently

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