No Lasers for You!

In 2003, I nearly got laser eye surgery. Then, at the last second, I changed my mind, partly because I'd been quoted a price that turned out to be for one eye, not both. And partly because I chickened out. I was partly worried about the proximity of the words "eye" and "laser" (and the phrase "eyeball speculum") and it was partly that I didn't fully trust the doctor. He was an older gentleman, and I wasn't entirely pleased with how much hs hands shook as he examined me. So I backed out.

Now, a year and a half later, I was ready again. I went to a different place, since I've moved, and I just got back from my examination. It took longer than the other one and involved more steps. One thing that I'm pretty sure didn't happen last time was a test of my corneal thickness: I was given numbing drops (which, for some reason, stung like the dickens), and then I was poked in the eyeball with a Science Tool. It's a good thing I used to wear contacts, because even without being able to feel it, it's weird to get poked in the eye and have your view of the world deform.

Incidentally, if there are any typos, you'll have to forgive me; my pupils are quite dilated right now, so I can't focus very well. Nor can I look directly at the computer screen, which is very, very bright all of a sudden. So I'm mostly faking this.

Anyway, I had my examination, which included a video about The Risks of Laser Eye Surgery, and then we got to the point where I schedule a time to have my eyes shot with lasers and my back account scientifically drained. Except that it turns out that I'm not a candidate for LASIK. Wha? Apparently, my eyes require a great deal of correction (this I knew) and therefore my cornea is not thick enough to support the level of reshaping that would be needed. I need a minimum of 570 Somethings (possibly microns), and I've only got 510. So the deal's off. I was told about a delightful new procedure in which a contact lens is implanted into the eyeball, but that sounds pretty invasive, especially since my eyes are going to start going downhill due to aging in six or seven years anyway.

So it's not happening. On the one hand, I'm disappointed, because I wouldn't mind not having to wear glasses at all times. On the other hand, there's a definite since of relief that I won''t have to face my fears. Plus, there's the money issue; I'm going on vacation next month (more on that soon), and I won't mind having some extra financing for my spree.

So now I'm home early from work, because I don't think it's a good idea to drive on the highways when I can't really see. But I can't properly surf the internet and even reading requires some accomodations. It looks like television again for me.