Everyone's a Jerk

I was thinking of writing a thoughtful, substantive post about the Presidential debates. I was going to speculate that Bush's statement that "the Commander in Chief cannot admit that a war was a mistake" was maybe a suggestion that he did think the Iraq situation was really rough, but that he felt admitting a mistake would cause more problems. I was going to discuss whose North Korea theory made more sense. I was even going to comment on the brief moments of humanity (both men talking about their daughters, the way Kerry and Bush both identified the loaded question about whether Bush saw huge problems with Kerry). I was even thinking of talking about how Bush was saying "nuclear" instead of "nucular" (which I never had a problem with, since it's a perfectly acceptable dialect), although he seemed to prefer "weapons of mass destruction".

But I've decided that no one is interested in that sort of thing. What? Talk about the potentially-valid policy differences between the candidates? Ha! It's much more fun to talk about who "won" the debate, and by that I mean that it's more fun to just declare that your candidate wiped the floor with the other guy.

Think Bush won? Apparently he did. Think Kerry won? Naturally.

Because how could it possibly happen that someone with whom you disagree could make some good points? Impossible! Only the person on your side could have won. That other guy's a mush-mouthed flip-flopping patrician!

Really, I've seen both guys called "patrician" recently -- what's the deal with that? "Patrician" means basically old, refined, and dignified, right? Isn't that what we look for in a president? Besides, it's not like either of these millionaire Ivy Leaguers are hanging out at the local bar. Here's a professor claiming that one of the reasons people should vote against Kerry is that he's got a butler. A butler! Heavens! He's rich, unlike that guy in the White House. The White House that's full of Secret Service agents at his beck and call and a 24-hour chef. Later in that piece, Kerry is accused of looking like a "princely son", "prepared to collect his birthright". All I'm asking for is that when people insult the candidates, they at least not make insults that apply equally to their own guy. I mean, "prince"? "Birthright"? Come on. And the only reason I'm not quoting a similar Kerry-fan's insults about Bush is because I can't bring myself to go back into Salon for another piece.

So forget it. Democracy is stupid, and so is everyone involved in it.