Body Modification

I don't have any piercings or tattoos. In Seattle, that makes me practically paleolithic. Everybody's got something. Except me; I don't even have pierced ears. I did have dyed hair for awhile once, but I didn't feel any need to keep it up.

So what I'm saying is that I've never felt any need to do that whole Body Modification thing the modern primitives are into. I don't object to it, except in certain specific instances (note to porn actresses: once more than 10% of your body is covered in ink, you will no longer be able to convincingly portray a young innocent thing). I've just never really gotten into it. Why should I go around mutilating myself to make myself prettier to other people?

However, I've made an appointment for some strictly cosmetic surgery next week. Assuming everything checks out, I'm going to get that LASIK all the kids are talking about. Yes! I'm going to let some guy with a "medical degree" slice up my eyeballs!

In a way, it's a dream come true. I've always wanted lasers shooting through my eyes. Admittedly, the original plan was that they'd be outwardly-directed, incinerating my enemies. But this way works too. The idea is that a doctor is going to do various things to my eyeballs and then I'll be able to see. That would be neat.

Because I can't really see at all right now. Well, I've got glasses, so technically I can see, but without the glasses? Blind. Really! I forget what the legal definition is, but I'm well past it. My glasses have to be made of super-refractive high-tech polymers, because if they were glass, they'd be about an inch thick and bump into my face.

When I frst got glasses, I was, I guess, seven or eight years old. I didn't know I needed them, because I assumed the world was blurry to everyone. It was quite a revelation when I tried on my first glasses, too; I was shocked that I could see things so clearly. Interesting sidenote: because of that, I've always preferred "things coming into focus" metaphors to the more common "light being shed on things" one. Instead of seeing the light or being illuminated, I'm more likely to have the fog lifted or see things clearly.

So I wear glasses. I've tried contacts, and I used to wear them all the time. But I got a bad batch or something, and now the insides of my eyelids are all scarred up (do not try this at home!) so blinking with contacts in can be pretty painful. So contacts aren't really my thing anymore.

The reason I want the eye surgery is, one, I think it sounds cool to say I have eye surgery scheduled for next week. I may not have a bunch of body piercings, but that doesn't mean I'm not a thrill-seeker at heart. And two, wearing glasses means you can't wear sunglasses. It may not sounds like much, but prescription shades just aren't the same.

I should mention the fact that I really don't mind the fact that glasses make me look like some kind of nerd. Because let's face it: they're not lying about that.

Anyway, yeah. Lasers in my eyes next week. Oh boy!