Deviled Egg Adventure

We had an office holiday party on Monday. We're having another next week, because some people were out of the office and couldn't make it. Some of those people, I might add, were in Las Vegas. ow, they were there on business, but it still seems odd. Our holiday parties are nice, but if you're in Las Vegas instead of attending them, some people might well argue that you're in a position to have more fun than the rest of us, not less.

We had the party, and there was much food. We used to have a complicated system where people would sign up for main dishes, chips, napkins, that sort of thing. But last year, we didn't even have a party scheduled until the very last second, when I (acting in my capacity as Associate Morale Officer) suddenly announced it. I experimented with just saying "Everybody Bring Food", and we had lots of food left over. So we did that again this year, and there was food galore. Especially from me.

The food I brought, as you may have deduced, was deviled eggs. I brought 36 of them, which meant that I spent the two hours before the party boiling eggs, then cutting them apart, mixing up filling, cursing when my pastry bag broke, and so on like that. I have an extremely small kitchen (true story: I had to rearrange things to make room for my toaster), so I created an impressive amount of mess. It really looked like a major culinary operation had taken place. And it had, too. Even the part about "peeling 18 eggs so they look nice" was pretty complicated, involving preparation twelve hours before.

I was excited, because I've been making deviled eggs for a couple of months, but this was the first time they were going to be in their proper milieu. Normally, I just wolf them down, but now they were going to go to a party and be proper hors d'oeuvres. Not only that, they were probably going to be the only homemade food there, so it would be nice if they were tastier than the inevitable mashed potatoes from KFC.

So I got the eggs there, which, by itself, was tricky. I had to try a few different techniques until I figured out how to transport three plates of eggs without suffering too many casualties. And the eggs were very well received. In fact, even the office Frenchman (doesn't every office have somebody from France? If not, I recommend it highly; it gives the place a very sophisticated feel) complimented me on the eggs and asked what went into them. This was good for two reasons: First, it let me mention that I use homemade mayonnaise (yum!), and second, it's my theory that the French are food snobs. So if my egg dish was acceptable, well, that's got to be good, doesn't it? Darn right it does.

And there was a gift exchange, too. It was one of those complicated deals where you get to open a gift or steal someone else's, and then they do the same thing. I'm still not 100% sure I understand it, and this is the third year we've done it. The gift I brought in was Deluxe Uno 30th Anniversary, and people seemed to think it was a good gift. There's a lot of pressure to perform, because each gift is opened in front of 20+ people, and it can make you sad if no one thinks it's any good. I walked away with The Darwin Awards II, which I'm happy about. I've considered buying the book myself, but haven't, on the theory that it's 30% urban legends and 60% stuff that's been e-mailed to me over the course of the year anyway. But I keep wanting to read it anyway, so it's nice that I now own it without the stigma of having bought it.

And then, after the party, I went home, because it was my day off, darn it. The end!