That Does Not Make Sense

I just saw a bumper sticker that said "Don't Let The Car Fool You - My Treasure Is In Heaven."

What?

I get the general theme, which if I'm not mistaken is "I'm going to Heaven and you're not, you stupid heathen." But I'm not sure how that's helped by the first part, which is more along the lines of "Check out my wheels, dude!" It just seems to me that the glorification of material objects, while certainly a worthwhile goal, doesn't really go with the rest of the bumper sticker.

But maybe I'm just being foolish. I mean, we live in the twenty-first century; maybe it's unreasonable to expect people to maintain a point all the way through a bumper sticker. So I guess it's possible that the guy who bought that bumper sticker started off wanting to brag about his fancy car, but got distracted and ended up on Christianity.

I suppose I should be pleased to see that they were able to keep their minds on their work all the way until the dash. It could just as easily have been "My Car Is What's That I Like Pie Where are My Keys My Feet Are Cold" or something. Perhaps it's just something about me that I prefer each bumper sticker to make its own separate statement.

Actually, now that I think about it (and does it seem odd to anyone else that I didn't start thinking about it until the sixth paragraph?) the bumper sticker makes sense after all. It's clearly a product of target marketing. Somebody at the bumper sticker factory must have been sitting around and sat bolt upright when he realized there were a lot of people driving snooty minivans that not only wanted to call attention to their cars, they also wanted to call attention to their conviction that they were going to a better place after they died. And how better to serve the mouthy showoffs than to make a bumper sticker that hits both their talking points?

So why aren't there more bumper stickers out there like that? Like, there are people that like miniature golfing and also happen to be Satanists, right? I mean, not that I'm saying all Satanists like miniature golf, but there's no reason there can't be some crossover there. And why can't there be a bumper sticker for sale somewhere for them? I should have a wacky example here, but I'm pretty tired, so this is going to end pretty suddenly. Sorry about that.